Clark the Barista
Clark, 21, Barista, England
Moving politely from crisis to crisis
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Fun fact: When tasting espresso females will pick up the bitterness more so than males

This is because anything that is poisonous is commonly bitter and so females have evolved to taste it more than men in case they have a little human inside them that they need to protect

I’m done being tumblr famous now

Tomorrow I’m travelling up to London to enjoy a massive carvery with the entirety of the gang and then back to Jemima’s for a gathering where I will be spending the night

It’s fun because it means I get to pack an overnight bag and that excites me

I don’t actually eat yoghurts 

I hold the yoghurt in my mouth for a while and then when someone tries to talk to me I spit it all out in their face

Metaphor

mackllewhore:

its a metaphor, you see. you place your cursor right upon the killing thing, but you dont actually click on it.

mackllewhore:

its a metaphor, you see. you place your cursor right upon the killing thing, but you dont actually click on it.

(via oranges-and-coffee)

clarkthebarista:

"Sir, you can’t smoke that in here"

"Oh, it’s not lit. It’s a metaphor. I get this all the time"

"Sir, I’m afraid you can’t sm- oh, it’s you again"

"Yeah, haha, just doing that metaphor thing again"

"Is that the same cigarette as before or is it a different one? Do you spend money on all of these or do you just put one in your mouth for a little while and then put it back in your pocket?"

"Sir, you can’t smoke that in here"

"Oh, it’s not lit. It’s a metaphor. I get this all the time"

Every now and then my hatred for fandoms is reignited

Although this time, instead of igniting that hatred again, TFiOS has inspired me to keep it between my teeth

It’s a metaphor 

Give me a medal that says ‘Never been part of a fandom’ because I think I deserve one

phlynn:

put my dick between your teeth

dont suck it

its a metaphor

(via stegosarah)

garfieldminusgarfield:

G-G the book - G-G on Facebook - G-G on Twitter

garfieldminusgarfield:

G-G the book - G-G on Facebook - G-G on Twitter

I played SimCity for too long and now my eyes feel funny

It hurts when I look at screens

Update: I bought SimCity and now it’s 5am